Long John the Pirate

LONG JOHN THE PIRATE

 

[from Tiberias Cylinder.  http://tiberiascylinder.blogspot.com/ ]

 

    The Blue Star Lounge is in the shopping district known as the Holodeck. The name Holodeck comes from the Star Trek video series, still popular after all these years. A series of businesses in this shopping district duplicate scenes shown in the Star Trek video.

 

    The Blue Star was decorated in Old Earth style to look like a sailing ship in the videos. Lengths of heavy rope were draped around the walls. Chairs and tables were made of imitation wood. Light came from lanterns which appeared to be made of polished brass. Even  scents and aromas of the sea filled the air.

 

    The barkeeper was an android woman dressed in the style of Old Earth. She kept up a steady chatter as she polished the imitation wood bar and served the customers. She had a computer memory; therefore she knew each of the usual customers, remembered their favorite drinks, and could immediately punch the code into the synthesizer to produce the exotic drinks of a thousand Cylinder Cities and a million cultures.

 

    But just now the synthesizer wasn't working. Which made for unhappy customers.         

 

    The doorway into the Blue Star was shielded by a simple force field. No sliding door to wear out. Yet the force field kept the scents and aromas in and the odors of the masses out.

 

    Annie looked up to see Big Al come into the Blue Star.

 

    "Al Mowrer, where have you been! I can't get this blasted synthesizer to work! I have to mix drinks by hand and we don't keep anything but a few bottles back here. I've got a lot of unhappy customers!"

 

    "Keep your microchips cool, Annie. I'm doing the best I can. Everything needs repair and everybody wants it done yesterday.  I can't work 24 hours a day like you do."

 

    "Al," said a heckler, "you're just playing around.  Aren't you always screwing things up just to annoy the Captain?  I bet you screwed up the synthesizer on purpose just to annoy everyone."

 

    "Chauncey, get off my back! I'm likely to do something drastic to you that a microchip won't fix."

 

    Chauncey snickered.

 

 

    Al removed a panel at the base of the synthesizer. He took his test probe and searched among the junctions. He sent a microjolt of power into the right place. "There! It's working again!"  He replaced the panel, and stood up.

 

    Al punched in the code for an Earth style beer.  He picked up the container and took a big swig.  "Ah,"  he said, "this is what my Granddad used to tell me about.  Real Polish beer from Old Earth."

 

    "Thanks, Al," said Annie.  "I'm back in business again!"

 

    A figure came through the doorway, medium height, dressed in the style of the Video Pirates.  His hair stood up in spikes.  He had a patch over one eye (made of one-way plastic so he could see), a silver shirt with a leather vest, black trousers and black boots.  A cutlass swung at his side.

 

    "Ahoy Mateys, you're a sight for sore eyes! I been sailing the spaceways and I just docked my ship on Tiberias. I'm wild and woolly and full of fleas. I'm a ring-tailed roarer and ready for shore leave!"

 

    "Long John, you old fake," said Al. "You wouldn't know a sailing ship if it bit you."

 

    "Now Al, ain't I entitled to a little fun? I like to strut around and impress the tourists. It really blows my mind when some kid says, 'Wow! Are you a real pirate!"'

 

    "And your getup," said Al. "Don't those earrings hurt your ears? Those bangles on your earrings have got to be heavy. How do you stand it, going around like that?"

 

    Long John sighed. "Al, don't give me any trouble. I have to relax somehow. I work with the computers and everything is crisis, nothing but crisis all day long! When I turn into Long John the Pirate, everything changes. I'm free! I roam the streets and impress people. It's wonderful! I'm happy! But these blasted boots hurt my feet and you wouldn't believe how these earrings pinch and pull." He reached up to take off the earrings. "That's a relief. I read that real pirates punched holes in their ear lobes and hung bangles and things from them. I had these made up to look the real thing, but they have clamps that snap on and hold tight. They hurt my ears something fierce. It's a relief to take them off."

 

    "Long John, step up to the bar," said Annie. "I'll fix you something now that Al has my synthesizer running again. What'll you have?"

 

    "Rum, Matey! Gim'me some of that Old Earth rum. That's what real pirates drink in the videos."

 

    Annie punched in the code, then handed the rum to Long John.

 

    He took a big swig. He coughed and choked and wheezed and tried to get his breath. Al pounded him on the back. Finally he could breathe again. "My, that was good," said Long John. "When I finish this I want another!"

 

    "Al," said Long John, "tell me something. I hear you have taken up with those Bible thumpers."

 

    "Nah. But I do work with some of them and Rod invited me to one of their Bible studies. I went a time or two and may go again. They do seem to have a peace that I would like to have. What they said seemed to make a lot of sense."

 

    "I didn't figure you for a religious kind of person?"

 

    "But I'm not irreligious either. Granddad Mowrer held to the same religious views that Rod holds.  He said that this Jesus really did live and that He rose to life again.  Granddad certainly had the peace and trust to look into the future."

 

    "Well, I don't know.  But maybe I ought to look them up and hear what they have to say?  I'll think about it."

 

    "They do help one another.  That's something in their favor.  Give Rod a call."

 

 

    Long John had decided one rum was enough.  He put his earrings on, then stood up, drew his cutlass (plastic, of course), flourished it, then put it back in the sheath.  He went out the doorway and got on a floater.